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I understood until then to be this independent, outgoing girl with an “optimistic character,” fixing problems by myself without relying on my man that I might have forced myself. Possibly I experienced been attempting to show something, in this society where individuals anticipate girls become peaceful and submissive.
It’s been 2 yrs since our relationship finished. We wish I really could state my understanding brought me personally complete freedom from sex norms or objectives of other people, nonetheless it didn’t. I experienced doubts about that I was keen on remaining an outgoing, independent woman whether I was good enough a girlfriend to him considering. The greater amount of we mentioned our future, the greater amount of afraid I became that i would never be their perfect life partner. We maintained worrying all about whether i really could satisfy their buddies or moms and dads’ expectations of the “good girl.”
My worries are not the only explanation we parted means, however they had been undoubtedly one factor.
Dating him, among others before that, has permitted me personally to see my self-contradictions and insecurities. I’m self-conscious of my freedom and womanhood. I’m high in contradictory desires, attempting to be my very own self, whatever that could be, but additionally planning to fulfill South Korean society’s criteria on which a appropriate girl should be. Most of the people we have actually met in school, at workplaces, also in the home have actually influenced me personally. It dawns on me personally that my battle is not pretty much fighting South Korean men’s expectations of just how females ought to behave. We discovered for myself, too that I need to fight my own expectations.
I’m nevertheless learning on how to balance society’s needs on females and my interior characteristics. Nevertheless, now i am aware I don’t need certainly to suppress my вЂgirlish’ impulses in wanting to be a woman that is independent. It’s Valentine’s Day, and I also have always been enjoying making chocolate on personal. I not any longer categorize this task as being a womanly task. It is just a spare time activity, that’s all. In addition observe that alleged girlish behaviors like aegyo and naesung aren’t the protect of females. Men may do these things as well as females.
The revelations to my part may be uncomfortable for many Southern Koreans to keep. (they may state chocolate that is making a woman’s pastime and guys never do aegyo or naesung.) But i need to thank the South Korean males we have dated — also those individuals who have been therefore critical of me — for leading me personally down this course of self-discovery. And I also enjoy fulfilling the next guy whom can help me find out more about whom i really have always been.
